(no subject)

[d_aulnoy]

I own the weirdest cat in the world.

Because, despite the nightly crackouts, and the magpie-like thieving, and the talking, and the obsession with the doorknob, and the "arguments", and the desire to assist me in grading?  Or, rather, perhaps, because of?

She does not act like a cat.

Most cats ... dislike ... getting their claws clipped, right?  I've seen friends bearing the scars of battle: I've read tips on getting the little bastids to hold still ("First, don thick gloves.  What the rawhide removes in mobility, it saves in blood-loss.  Then, carefully wrap the cat in a towel, using a technique similar to that which the Egyptians employed, albeit under other circumstances.  Approach the swaddled cat gingerly ..."). 

My cat, though?  Well, first off, she likes spending most of the day in my lap, avoiding The Typing Elbows.  But once in a while, she hops up, I see the concealed weapons she likes to call "nails," and Shit Must Be Done.  However, all that said shit consists of?  Is me pulling the clippers out of a desk drawer, her scent-marking them viciously, me clipping her claws, and her purring.  And then promptly going back to sleep.

This is the same cat who acts as a "pointer" rather then a hunter.  Yesterday, there was a fly?  Sure, she followed it.  And then she'd meaow at me, one outstretched paw carefully indicating the position of the dastardly insect. 

So, basically ... she's a talkative little monster with a paper fetish who loves jewelry, hates to feel trapped, enjoys manicures, and does the feline equivalent of screaming "A bug, a bug!  Kill it!"  Let's be honest, here. 

This ain't no cat.

It's a ... graduate student.

Hey, iconoclam ?  Would Genevieve be willing to write Gypsy a rec. letter, having passed her tenure review and all?  

Comments

[erratic0101.livejournal.com]

lol. very cute :)

My cat thinks the clippers are a toy.

So I think she has barracuda genes because of her attraction to shiny objects.

She'll literally grab the clippers from me, and start playing with them and chewing on them.

I have to cover her eyes or wait till she's asleep and clip her nails then.

So of course, being the not so perfect father. Her nails haven't been clipped in like, 2 months %-|

Tiny razor blades.

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Hee. Yeah, it's the razor-blade option that keeps me on top of the situation ... Gypsy's definitely a lover, not a fighter, so it's not like she's shredding my ankles on a daily basis, or anything. But, being that she is:

a) not really that good at being a cat,
a2) and thus much of a jumper, and,
b) very fond of jumping up to my shoulder, but
b2) because of the being crap at leaping, prone to scraping her way down my front ...

The nails get clipped. Because scab-marks on the chest and your average women's shirt? Can lead to some veeery awkward questions ...

[erratic0101.livejournal.com]

I've been using the experience as a form of learning pain resistance ;)

I've simply learned to take my shirts off when I get home and let YT assault my t-shirts.
I'm going to market the line to American Apparel as T-shirts designed with air holes for better breathable cotton.

As for the blood, a little blood letting is good for a healthy body. The capallaries need the exercise.

[schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com]

Of course, you could decide to be humane with poor Gypsy and forge yourself some chainmail instead...

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Dude. Have you ever SEEN chainmail?

Chainmail, with its myriad, tiny holes ... all *just* the size for a cat's cute, little, toes.

If I wanted actual protection, I'd need heavy plate. Not even for my beloved pussy-cat am I lounging around the house in steel pajamas.

[erratic0101.livejournal.com]

Yuo could always go modern with Kevlar.

[schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com]

All depends on how large you make the rings, right? If you made it right, it would make a nice scaffold for the cats cute little toes instead... :)