Californication and DMVacillation
Jun. 8th, 2007 08:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
d_aulnoyThe learners permit is achieved, and my greatest source of joy in that? I don't have to waste another hour of my life hangin' out in the DMV. DMV's in NY? Completely abandoned. No people. They're kind of soothing. The California DMV, on the other hand, is like some strange and hellish outpost of the post-apocalyptic world that will be created when our Cockroach Overlords seize control: it is filled with the dregs of society (50 year old tattooed biker guy being straddled by his 14 year old girlfriend on the steps, I'm looking at you) and those lost to despair and madness (see: woman who, every time her perfectly charming 2-year old daughter fell silent, shook her till she blatted. Was she trying to provide amusement for the rest of the poor souls trapped in the waiting room at her daughter's expense?). Sitting there for half an hour made me start to consider the alternative of just learning to maneuver one of those 30-foot tall tricycles to get to work ... work, in this case, being the circus that I would run away to join, abandoning my new position and all that is dear to me, just to get out of the DMV.
But, eventually, my number was called (204, baby!), and I took the test. The scariest part of the test? Standing on the line to get it graded. Keep in mind, my version of "studying" for this was to skim the handbook in the waiting room (was having too much fun at dinner last night, and, anyway, everyone assured me that the driving test was tres easy). Yet, person after person ahead of me failed, for the first, second, third time ... one guy got up there, and asked if, since it was his third and last time without penalty and he thought he'd eaten it, if he could just tear it up and come back another day. Come back! To the DMV! I started wondering if I'd underestimated the test, and the tricksy nature of the DMV. (Never trust a company that, in its handbook, in between pleas for your organs, says "Do not fear the DMV: the DMV wants you to pass." It's not the strange sentiment, really, although I do suspect a connection to their need for organs: it's just the third person.) But, despite a few mistakes - double parking is illegal at all times? really? even if you stay with the vehicle? because, damn, back home, that's a way of life ... - I am now licensed to sit behind the wheel of a car, so long as a licensed handler accompanies me. Yay!
Alas, the joy of finding a man with a whip and a chair to sit beside me in the hot-seat will have to wait, as I'm off to Europe in, oh, 6 hours, and have yet to pack. Will be back in NY at the beginning of July, folks, so maybe I'll see some of you then. Hey! I can drive us somewhere ....
But, eventually, my number was called (204, baby!), and I took the test. The scariest part of the test? Standing on the line to get it graded. Keep in mind, my version of "studying" for this was to skim the handbook in the waiting room (was having too much fun at dinner last night, and, anyway, everyone assured me that the driving test was tres easy). Yet, person after person ahead of me failed, for the first, second, third time ... one guy got up there, and asked if, since it was his third and last time without penalty and he thought he'd eaten it, if he could just tear it up and come back another day. Come back! To the DMV! I started wondering if I'd underestimated the test, and the tricksy nature of the DMV. (Never trust a company that, in its handbook, in between pleas for your organs, says "Do not fear the DMV: the DMV wants you to pass." It's not the strange sentiment, really, although I do suspect a connection to their need for organs: it's just the third person.) But, despite a few mistakes - double parking is illegal at all times? really? even if you stay with the vehicle? because, damn, back home, that's a way of life ... - I am now licensed to sit behind the wheel of a car, so long as a licensed handler accompanies me. Yay!
Alas, the joy of finding a man with a whip and a chair to sit beside me in the hot-seat will have to wait, as I'm off to Europe in, oh, 6 hours, and have yet to pack. Will be back in NY at the beginning of July, folks, so maybe I'll see some of you then. Hey! I can drive us somewhere ....