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d_aulnoy... in no particular order.
1) Never trust bureaucracy. EVER. Whenvever anyone tells you anything? Double-check it. And then, get it in writing. Even if you're getting it from People In Charge. It will, say, allow you to skip over the anguish of being told that your parents can't attend your graduation ceremony, or of having to file your dissertation the day after the defense in order to graduate in time. (It all worked out in the end, but that's a week closer to my ulcer....)
2) Take all advice with a grain of salt. When, say, an authority figure tells you that you need to be less arrogant and more cuddly, if your gut instinct tells you that they're only saying it because you're a chick, go with that, because you will eventually lose patience, ask the chair for a cigarette, and crack wise about how a girl needs a knife during your interview no matter what, because that's who you are, and if you're lucky? It will turn out that they like that sort of thing, and you'll get the job because and not in spite of it.
3) Thoreau was full of shit: all important occasions require new clothes; you'll be happier if you have them in advance. For example, tomorrow's graduation ceremony requires a nice new dress, and today's designers are apparently operating under the impression that the heavily pregnant look is "in": screw them, and thank god for that Little Black Dress that was bought three years ago on principle.
4) You can do whatever you tell yourself you have to do, but if you save time to "do stuff" in general, you never will: better to have three intensive deadlines and an ulcer than to have taken a term off to "concentrate" and not get anything done. (I now wish I'd taken on that anthology fall term, because this term, I taught, assisted, got hired, dissertated, defended, filed, planned syllabi, etc., and all I did in the fall was go on the market and have time for introspection: valuable, but not really ... productive. Or, for that matter, particularly relaxing.)
5) Relax. And by relax, I do not mean, work yourself into a state of exhaustion and collapse out of necessity: nor do I mean, turn down all dates and dinner plans to stare blankly at a computer screen for hours in a virtuous fugue. I actually mean, relax. Take time for grocery shopping, and gossiping with friends, long baths, hot sex, manicures, pedicures, your hobby of choice, mending, cleaning, and all of life's minutia, because there is nothing satisfying about realizing that you need to buy new underwear for your important appointment ....
.... for the third time in a row.
6) Now, most of this advice is a weird and generic half-stuff-I-need-to-remember-and-half-stuff-that-might-serve-my-soon-to-be-dissertating-friends, but in a more specific advising mode: go on the market early. It's a lot more relaxing to be able to tell yourself that you're only doing it to get a handle on how the craziness of it all works when you still have a year of funding left, just in case.
6a) Just in case you get a job, make sure that you have an awesome and understanding committee that will be okay with your conflating your last two chapters in order to be able to finish on time.
7) Don't snap at the people who love you and are just trying to help. I've been on both sides of the equation this year, and depending on the positioning, it either works out to feeling guilty, or towards resenting the hell out of them and tossing the friendship. (Or feeling guilty and fearing that they'll toss the friendship.) (Flip side of the coin, I guess, is don't bother with toxic friendships, though that's non-job-market-specific and kinda a given.)
7a) Be surrounded by awesome people: commensurately, don't worry that said awesome people will stop loving you because you're wacky, crazed, snappish, absent-minded, a flake, or just generally kinda harried. If they do, they're not that awesome: alternately, if they don't, you'll know you were right, and make it up when they're on the market, wacky, crazed, snappish, absent-minded, flakes, or just generally kinda harried.
8) Once you finish your Enormous Task, be happy that you've completed your Enormous Task, but don't expect everyone around you to relate: they, too, might be finishing Enormous Tasks, or otherwise distracted. Sometimes? Being tremendously, privately smug can be ... well, Enormously Satisfing.
Now, for tomorrow's graduation ceremony .....
1) Never trust bureaucracy. EVER. Whenvever anyone tells you anything? Double-check it. And then, get it in writing. Even if you're getting it from People In Charge. It will, say, allow you to skip over the anguish of being told that your parents can't attend your graduation ceremony, or of having to file your dissertation the day after the defense in order to graduate in time. (It all worked out in the end, but that's a week closer to my ulcer....)
2) Take all advice with a grain of salt. When, say, an authority figure tells you that you need to be less arrogant and more cuddly, if your gut instinct tells you that they're only saying it because you're a chick, go with that, because you will eventually lose patience, ask the chair for a cigarette, and crack wise about how a girl needs a knife during your interview no matter what, because that's who you are, and if you're lucky? It will turn out that they like that sort of thing, and you'll get the job because and not in spite of it.
3) Thoreau was full of shit: all important occasions require new clothes; you'll be happier if you have them in advance. For example, tomorrow's graduation ceremony requires a nice new dress, and today's designers are apparently operating under the impression that the heavily pregnant look is "in": screw them, and thank god for that Little Black Dress that was bought three years ago on principle.
4) You can do whatever you tell yourself you have to do, but if you save time to "do stuff" in general, you never will: better to have three intensive deadlines and an ulcer than to have taken a term off to "concentrate" and not get anything done. (I now wish I'd taken on that anthology fall term, because this term, I taught, assisted, got hired, dissertated, defended, filed, planned syllabi, etc., and all I did in the fall was go on the market and have time for introspection: valuable, but not really ... productive. Or, for that matter, particularly relaxing.)
5) Relax. And by relax, I do not mean, work yourself into a state of exhaustion and collapse out of necessity: nor do I mean, turn down all dates and dinner plans to stare blankly at a computer screen for hours in a virtuous fugue. I actually mean, relax. Take time for grocery shopping, and gossiping with friends, long baths, hot sex, manicures, pedicures, your hobby of choice, mending, cleaning, and all of life's minutia, because there is nothing satisfying about realizing that you need to buy new underwear for your important appointment ....
.... for the third time in a row.
6) Now, most of this advice is a weird and generic half-stuff-I-need-to-remember-and-half-stuff-that-might-serve-my-soon-to-be-dissertating-friends, but in a more specific advising mode: go on the market early. It's a lot more relaxing to be able to tell yourself that you're only doing it to get a handle on how the craziness of it all works when you still have a year of funding left, just in case.
6a) Just in case you get a job, make sure that you have an awesome and understanding committee that will be okay with your conflating your last two chapters in order to be able to finish on time.
7) Don't snap at the people who love you and are just trying to help. I've been on both sides of the equation this year, and depending on the positioning, it either works out to feeling guilty, or towards resenting the hell out of them and tossing the friendship. (Or feeling guilty and fearing that they'll toss the friendship.) (Flip side of the coin, I guess, is don't bother with toxic friendships, though that's non-job-market-specific and kinda a given.)
7a) Be surrounded by awesome people: commensurately, don't worry that said awesome people will stop loving you because you're wacky, crazed, snappish, absent-minded, a flake, or just generally kinda harried. If they do, they're not that awesome: alternately, if they don't, you'll know you were right, and make it up when they're on the market, wacky, crazed, snappish, absent-minded, flakes, or just generally kinda harried.
8) Once you finish your Enormous Task, be happy that you've completed your Enormous Task, but don't expect everyone around you to relate: they, too, might be finishing Enormous Tasks, or otherwise distracted. Sometimes? Being tremendously, privately smug can be ... well, Enormously Satisfing.
Now, for tomorrow's graduation ceremony .....