The Wonder of Queen Rat
Jan. 5th, 2005 12:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
d_aulnoyI'm still working on review(s), but, I realized that, first, I needed to procrastinate for a bit, and, second, that I had yet to tell you all of the wonders of Queen Rat! Obviously, both situations which needs must be rectified.
On Boxing Day, I caved and went to Saks to see their "sale" (yeah, Saks, those marked-down jeans for *only* $250 are really a boon ...) and, naturally, I visited the holiday area. Why, you ask, is this natural for a Jewish-born pagan? Why, because holiday decorations are shiny! And because, on the day after Christmas, holiday decorations are cheap. "Cheap" and "shiny" are two of my very favorite things in the world, and the ornament section always reminds me of Aladdin's cave ... too bad its gone until next year. But, anyway, while I love to go there, I rarely buy things, because I never put up a tree (I kinda want to wait until I have a home as opposed to a place to live to start on this tradition), unless they're odd and non-denominational. In past years I have bought glittery ruby things which can double as sun-catchers, miniature Venetian masks (for when the miniature Venetians visit, of course), and a silver pomegranate. This year, I bought ... Queen Rat.
Now, one has to wonder what the nice people at Saks are thinking: obviously, I think that pomegranates, as symbols of condemnation to the Underworld, and rodents, as carriers of plague, are very appropriate to the holidays. However, people frequently tell me that I am weird. So you'd think that they couldn't count on a big demographic of similarly minded individuals ... This is probably why all of the nifty stuff is left for me to buy on the cheap, actually, and, boy, did it pay off this time!
So, when I walked into the Bazar of the Bizarre, I smelled the chocolate: I ogled the large crimson chandelier covetously ... and then I spotted Queen Rat.
Queen Rat is bigger then a Barbie Doll (proving that the universe does have at least some sense of proportion). She has a little gold crown, and an ermine-trimmed cloak, and a pretty beaded amber necklace. Queen Rat wears gold high-heeled shoes! Obviously, Queen Rat was meant to come and live with me, for reasons which will be further explained below, but, first and foremost, because we share a sense of style. So, when I saw Queen Rat, I gave in to my inner six-year old, who still likes dolls and toys and little cunning things very much, and spun around to my Mummy (of course this was a family outing! of ... cantenkerous Jewish people visiting Christmas ornaments? well, anyway, it was fitting) and said "Koraleva Krissa!" or, "Queen Rat!" in Russian.
Mummy, unsurprisingly, thought that she was adorable. Keep in mind, here, that "rat" is one of my own nick-names in Russian. No, seriously. Dad calls me "solnyushka" or "kotya," which translate respectively as either "sunshine" "or kitten." People, do I *look* like a Sunshine? Or, for that matter, a Kitten? No, I do not. These are generic little-girl nicknames that Dad has been using for me since I was tiny, and, I suppose that when I myself was not that much bigger then a Barbie Doll, with little golden ringlets and a giggle, they might have been vaguely appropriate. Dad's the sentimental one in the family. Mom's more of a realist ... she either calls me "kissa," which is kind of like a more generic "kitty," or "krissa." The Kitty stuck because when I was little - and, yes, this is embarassing - I wouldn't respond to my name if she was calling me in a crowd. I would, however, respond to the "kss-kss-kss" noise which is used to call cats in Russian. Don't ask. Or, she calls me Krissa, Rat, because in Russian it's also a verb - to "kris," or rat at someone means to act snarkily hostile. Appropriate, right?
So I bought Queen Rat. Queen Rat was viciously expensive, but she was also half off. This is good. I actually, kinda, worry about the people who spend the exorbitant sums originally attached to her, especially as she was part of a matched set, but King Rat (no relation to China Mieville) had skinny legs and closed eyes, so I granted Queen Rat an annulment and took her home. Queen Rat now stands on my desk, probably chattering her sharp white teeth in her plaster head when I procrastinate. Cat is scared of Queen Rat. SO COOL. And I figure that I can justify this, because I never spend money on trees or other ornaments (well, not typical ones, anyway), so she's making up for five years of decorative holiday deprivation.
But, the other reason(s) I bought Queen Rat? Partially, because I continue to be amused by the exchange between Buffy and Amy, circa season six: "So, how've you been?" "Dead. You?" "Rat." And partially, it's because of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
1crowdedhour 's beautiful novel, A College of Magics. I adore this book. It's been a favorite since I first laid eyes on it, for many reasons (and, frankly, it kinda inspired my senior thesis at college), but, anyway, it's one of the things that I always used to press eagerly onto people to convert them to loving fantasy. Neil Gaiman's Coraline now comes in for YA (rats!) docbrite 's Drawing Blood is the one I use for horror (sadly, rodent-free), and for hard s-f I use Neal Stephenson's The Diamond Age (featuring a Mouse Army! are we sensing a theme yet? Eh?), but I'm getting off track here. So, one of the first people I ever loaned this to was my friend from high school, Hodari (who, sadly, I've lost touch with). He returned it with dog-eared pages, a ring on the cover, and a comment. "You really remind me of that girl ..." he said. Warily, I wondered which one: the book does feature one rather haughty blonde character, and I did *not* want to be Menary Paganell, grey velvet slippers or no grey velvet slippers. Somewhat luckily for his continued existence, he did not say Menary. With somewhat mixed results for my ego, he said Faris.
Now, Faris Nallaneen is one of my very favorite literary characters. She's intelligent and manipulative, she quickly internalizes the lesson that one must learn the rules so as to better break them, she has a wicked temper and is prone to throwing Wicked Uncles off moving sledges when she's not firing pistols in their drawing rooms. But. Faris is also described as having along nose and crooked teeth and the unfortunate nick-name at school of "Faris-the-Ferret," or, simply, "Ferret." I could draw some probably undeserved parallels of character (my parents are only children, so I've never attacked a wicked uncle, but I think that I've got the wicked temper overall down pat), but being that the comparison came from a teenage boy, I quickly assumed that there might be some reference to my appearance included there. And ... dude ... ferrets? I like ferrets: I used to keep ferrets: but, for the sake of my dignity, I'd rather think of my totem animal as being a sleek cat, or even, given the nose, a soaring bird of prey. Ferrets bounce. Ferrets bark. Ferrets get their revenge by crapping in your shoe. Ferrets ... lack dignity. But, with the purchase of Queen Rat, I've come to terms with my inner rodent: I may have some ratty elements in my aspect, but if I'm going to be a rat, I'm going to be Queen Rat. Gold shoes and all.
P.S. - Queen Rat is henceforth going to be my watchword. She will become an externalized way of referring to myself in the third person. This is insane, and will prove to be vaguely annoying, but, nevertheless: Queen Rat has spoken. All hail Queen Rat!
P.P.S. - As vschanoes has discovered, I also use her as a fiduciary marker, i.e., "That purse costs twice as much as Queen Rat! That's absurd!" She will undoubtedly sneak into conversation in other ways; this is only to be expected. She is, after all, a rat.
P.P.P.S. - No, I have not lost my mind, yes, I am under a great deal of stress, and, please, save the I-love-me jacket for after orals; I need to be able to keep on turning the pages.
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Date: 2005-01-05 05:54 pm (UTC)http://www.lisasnellings.com/ratbag.html
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Date: 2005-01-06 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 05:49 am (UTC)I've got Neil, and EAP, and Chester, and the trick-or-treat rat, and an angel rat. (As well as one of her harlequins, and another piece called Raven.) I love Lisa Snellings' work.
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Date: 2005-01-06 02:27 pm (UTC)Can i ask you about the Raven piece you have? i'm also an admirer and collector of Lisa's work but i don't know if i'm familiar with that piece.
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Date: 2005-01-06 03:36 pm (UTC)I bought her... two years ago? At Westercon when it was in Seattle. Or maybe it was Norwescon that year. I can't remember. One of the two.
If I remember when I get home from work tonight, I'll snap a picture of her.
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Date: 2005-01-06 03:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-05 06:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 01:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-05 06:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-05 09:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 02:00 am (UTC)I mean, other then "b[l]aaaaaaaaaaaa."
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Date: 2005-01-06 08:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 04:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 07:12 pm (UTC)