The Most Inconvenient Apartment in the World

[d_aulnoy]

So far, I've had two people walk into my new apartment, purse their lips, and say "You could have done better."

I've also had two people walk in, hit the light, and go, "Oh, my, yeeeeeeeeeees - this is lovely!"

They have been, respectively, my mom and one of the movers (the one carrying the elliptical machine), and my dad and the other one of the movers (the one carrying my big linen chest).  They have all been absolutely right.

See, I'm calling it The Most Inconvenient Apartment in the World for a reason: alternatively, I can phrase it as a puzzle, like so;

Q: When is an apartment both a third and a fourth floor walk-up?

A: When the kitchen's on the one and the bathroom's on the other!

Or, alternatively, when it's our new place. 

The downsides are: it's a walk-up, the aformentioned input/output divide, and square footage-wise, it's a little small.

The plus-sides: location, it has 16 foot ceilings, it has hardwood floors, a working fireplace, exposed brick, a cathedral wall with windows to die for, and a skylight (see, "hit the light" - for once, I was being literal).  Also, the pattic.

The pattic is a little like my shring: potentially awkward, possibly a fire hazard, not really a necessity, and a neologism risk.  But, also like the shring, it is incredibly cool.

So, what's a pattic?  Well, other people might call it a loft, except it's already in a duplex, so ... a loft-loft?  Thanks, but I resigned from the Department of Redundancy Department years ago (though it was temporarily tempting to put in a 1/12 scale dollhouse that contained a 1/24 scale dollhouse, each with a loft of its own, receeding into infinity).  So it was temporarily the attic, until we remembered that we'd been a little too out of it to remember to get rid of the patio furniture.  So now we have a ladder leading into a 4 foot tall space that encircles half our bedroom containing all the books that are not imminently necessary to our (read: my) survival, a few random odds and ends, and the reclining deck chair that the Gnu's mom bought me for my birthday last year.  I plan to install fairy lights, oriental carpets, and a wet bar.  It will be awesome.

(It will also lead to a never-ending stream of madwoman-in-the-pattic jokes, but I'm okay with that.)

So, we're home!  Let the festivities commence.


 

Comments

[heathencorp.livejournal.com]

Do we get pictures? It sounds Awesome!

And it reminds me of the hotel I stayed in last time I was in London-- You had to take the smallest elevator in the world up to the fourth floor, then walk down two hallways that weren't level with each other, and down three steps. The door was on the landing between two floors, but the stairs bottomed out before they reached the Lobby.

Oh second thought, I hope your house isn't that awkward...

~;)

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

sounds awesome! and the fiary lights/oriental rug pattic sounds like it will be totally dreamy.