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[d_aulnoy]

I just spent an hour searching my collections and the Internet for a poem to share with my class today. It's about Beauty and the Beast - specifically, Beauty's poker night with the girls (Goldilocks, Frau Yellow Dwarf, etc.). No title, no author's name, and the one line I remembered?

"The beautiful bride of the Bearded Lesbian never bluffs."

You get some weird results on Google with that assortment of words, let me tell ya.

For the curious: "Mrs. Beast," by Carol Anne Duffy. I highly recommend it.

Comments

[whorepetticoats.livejournal.com]

PLEASE either post or link to a copy of the full text...I can't find it anywhere, and I am really interested! thanks

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

There don't seem to be any on-line versions, unfortunately (it would have made *my* life easier this morning), but you can find the complete text in either her anthology _The World Wife_ or in the 12th _Years Best Fantasy and Horror_. I'm a bit too tired to type it all out, sorry (and, er, copyright issues come to mind) but here are some of my favorite excerpts:

... On my Poker nights, the Beast
kept out of sight. We were a hard school, tough as fuck,
all of us beautiful and rich - the Woman
Who Married a Minataur, Goldilocks, The Bride
of the Bearded Lesbian, Frau Yellow Dwarf, et Moi.
I watched those wonderful women shuffle and deal -
Five and Seven Card Stud, Sidewinder, Hold'Em, Draw -
I watched them bet and raise and call. One night,
a Head-to-Head between Frau Yellow Dwarf and Bearded's Bride
was over the biggest pot I'd seen in my puff.
The Frau had the Queen of Clubs on the baize
and Bearded the Queen of Spades. Final card. Queen each.
Frau Yellow Raised. Bearded raised. Goldilocks' eyes
were glued to the pot as though porridge bubbled there.
The Minotaur's wife lit a stinking cheroot. Me,
I noticed the Frau's hand shook as she placed her chips.
Bearded raised her a final time, then stared,
stared so hard you felt your frock would melt
if she blinked. Some dykes are like that. Frau Yellow
swallowed hard, then called. Sure enough, Bearded flipped
her Aces over; diamonds, hearts, the Public Ace of Spades.
And that was a lesson learnt by all of us -
The drop-dead gorgeous Bride of the Bearded Lesbian didn't bluff.

But behind each player stood a line of ghosts
unable to win. Eve. Achputtel. Marilyn Monroe.
Rapunzel slashing wildly at her hair.
Bessie Smith unloved and down and out.
Bluebeard's wives, Henry VIII's, Snow White
cursing the day she left the seven dwarves, Diana,
Princess of Wales. The sheepish Beast came in
with a tray of schnapps at the end of the game
and we stood for the toast - Fay Wray -
then tossed our fiery drinks to the backs of our crimson throats.
Bad girls. Serious ladies. Mourning our dead.

[and the last lines ...]

... Bring me the Beast for the night.
Bring me the wine-cellar key. Let the less-loving one be me.

Sigh ... I love that poem. However, after listening to that, my girls clamored for more of Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." Hmph ...