Gloom Cookie
Aug. 19th, 2008 04:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
d_aulnoyThe best chinese food place in town makes the best fortune cookies I've ever had: they're dipped in white chocolate and wrapped in colored foil, and they come in gauzy gold bags. They sell them by the dozens. Unfortunately, my last bag of fortune cookies appears to be a bag of ... misfortune cookies.
The first one I opened told me to reevaluate my life goals. Thanks, cookie, but no - and burn, baby, burn. (I believe that a fortune cookie fortune will only come true if you eat the cookie: if you feel really strongly about rejecting it, you burn the fortune.) The next one, coming during a discussion of finance, gave me the saccharine reassurance that "Simplicity in style will bring admiring eyes your way" (is there such a thing as a passive-aggressive WASP fortune cookie?), and the one after that told my mom that she might not be using her best judgment. The most recent one is just cruel, though: it tells me that the road before me is long, so DRIVE SAFELY.
I want a cookie! I want a cookie! Damnit, I want a cookie! [insert footstomp]
Just ... not that one.
The first one I opened told me to reevaluate my life goals. Thanks, cookie, but no - and burn, baby, burn. (I believe that a fortune cookie fortune will only come true if you eat the cookie: if you feel really strongly about rejecting it, you burn the fortune.) The next one, coming during a discussion of finance, gave me the saccharine reassurance that "Simplicity in style will bring admiring eyes your way" (is there such a thing as a passive-aggressive WASP fortune cookie?), and the one after that told my mom that she might not be using her best judgment. The most recent one is just cruel, though: it tells me that the road before me is long, so DRIVE SAFELY.
I want a cookie! I want a cookie! Damnit, I want a cookie! [insert footstomp]
Just ... not that one.