Housing woes.

[d_aulnoy]

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

When we moved into to Monrovia, it seems like the perfect compromise.  It was half an hour from Pasadena, and an hour from San Bernardino: fair, since J. went into work every day, and since I only needed to drive to campus 2 days a week, 3 when we had faculty meetings.  We would have preferred to rent, but ... the California rental market is dismal.  We looked at a broad variety of miserable little rent houses with postage-stamp yards, at myriad multiple-family structures with delusions of tenement-grandeur, at (with longing) the plethora of delightful "rental communities" with all the amenities ... reserved for seniors.  And we despaired, because, seriously, I've lived in apartments that made "Joe's Apartment" look spiffy, but I have never lived in anything quite that soul-crushingly devoid of beauty and utility.  Seriously, California's rental properties seem to have been designed in direct opposition to William Morris's axiom that you should have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or think to be beautiful, because, seriously?  All of these properties appear to have been built in the 1960's, and 1960's architects appear to have some terrible aversion to both usefulness and beauty.  Pilled wall-to-wall beige carpet?  CHECK.  A pillar, closet, or fireplace (yes, for real) in every corner that could conceivably be used to house the furniture with corners, by which I mean pretty much all furniture?  CHECK.  Ceilings low enough that a woman who stands 5'4" in her socks can touch them without going on tippy-toe?  CHECK.  Ugly pine cabinets with confusingly spaced shelves that will fit no canned good known to man?  CHECK, check, and double-check.  And let's not even get into the crapalicious (sometimes literally) bathrooms ....

I sincerely believe that California's social hierarchy manifests itself more directly than New Yorks could ever dream.  One might pin this to car culture - as one could pin so many evils on car culture - but the biggest spit isn't between those who drive and those who take public transit, or those who drive luxury cars and those who drive beaters.  Nope, it manifest itself in the fact that California housing is grounded in the belief that rental units are reserved for those who Do Not Deserve Nice Things.  Because you can be willing to spend several grand on rent in the back of beyond, and not have anything to spend it on, because the apartment which you would conceivably be renting?  Has not yet been built.  And, quite possibly never will be.

So, we bought.  We bought a nifty little house that has cathedral ceilings and Spanish tiles and pool access and a patio, and we painted it a variety of pleasing colors, and we basically made it a home.  And I ... kind of love my home, which is great (I know, reading this entry, that at least one of you will be rubbing a thumb against a forefinger and thinking "World's Smallest Violin" whilst rolling an eye), except that I now have the two conflicting desires to keep my home (not my house - just my sense of home) and to also not have to drive an hour each way to teach or hang out with my colleagues.  Once again, why can I not simply have Baba Yaga's architect?  It would be so convenient to just magically relocate my house to Claremont or Redlands.

So, options, ranked from least to most likely:

1) Sell this house at a loss (thanks for the tanking economy, Bush administration!), and buy another one in Claremont.  This is not tenable because it would be time consuming, would involve the loss of funds, and would basically break my spirit.

2) Rent this house out to someone who will wonder why the hell the "master bedroom" (aka, my study) is painted in shades of indigo and gold whom I will hate with a violent passion, suck it up, rent one of the crappy apartments, and make it as lovely as I can.  Pros: halving my chance of dying on the highway, socializing, car-pooling.  Cons: losing a big chunk of time that I could be spending on revising the diss. and sending it out to publishers, planning my classes, etc., and will probably have to drive a lot anyway because I do not think it is likely that I will find a place in Claremont or Redlands that has the same happy 5-minute-walk proximity to everything I need on a daily basis (i.e., grocery store, dry cleaner, cobbler, and, gods willing, once they finally finish their year-long renovation of the public library, library). 

3) Stay in this house like a happy, happy hermit crab and hate my commute.  Pros: will probably get better at the driving out of necessity if nothing else, will have time to work, will, you know, continue to like my surroundings.  Cons: the stinking rotten commute, the fact that the distance makes socializing a bitch and a half because even if I drive to see other people, odds of their wanting to come out here are slim, which puts me in the awkward position of always-the-guest-never-the-host (I guess I could make a point of learning how to bake bread and bring it with me every time, or something).

4) Cry.  Pros:  emotionally satisfying.  Cons: swollen eyes, confused cat, no real ... solution.

Sigh.  BAH.

Dear California:

Please to be stoping sucking now, yes?

No love,
d_aulnoy

ETA:  Two worried phone calls later ... no worries, people: the crying was hyperbole.  I'm not quite there yet ....

Comments

[tibicina.livejournal.com]

Californians are also used to driving to things. An hour is sort of at the upper bounds, but, honestly, most people who've lived in Southern California for a while, won't think all that much of it on weekends. Much /over/ an hour and it starts to become an obstacle, but we're used to 'I live in Pasadena and want to go to a play at UCLA, okay, it'll take me about 45 minutes to a hour and fifteen to get there depending on traffic.' or 'I live in Torrence and want to go to something downtown. That will be about 45 minutes.'

All of that said, I've done the hour commute thing and it was fairly awful. But there's a big difference between something you do every day and something you do every once in a while, or even a couple of times a week.

As a completely other random note, if you're wondering who I am. I friended you because I noticed a comment on cadhla's journal and I've loved D'Aulnoy's stories for a long time and you just seemed interesting.

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Hey, welcome, and thanks for the advice! I guess that kind of reasoning is still intrinsically foreign to me: if it were a public transit thing, I'd figure it was no big deal, but it just feels ... rude ... to ask people to go out of their way and do The Thing I Hate Most in the World (seriously, I would totally trade a root canal for a round trip to, say, LA) just for the pleasure of my company. But, methinks I might have to get used to it on both ends ... bleh. :)

[cataptromancer.livejournal.com]

For #3, is there anything about your current house's area or accessibility that might make it worth staying in, even given the commute? Closer to other cool things or conveniences? Better or more interesting area in general? If there's a lot of that going on, I myself would lean towards #3...but if not, well, more likely #1 or #2.

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Hm ... well, there's general accessibility to SoCal amenities: this is closer to Pasadena, LA, beaches, etc., which I'm not so much taking advantage of during the week, but which is nice on weekends when J is around. There's airports, mostly for J, but I guess also for me for cons. and the like (and for flying to Houston to see him, I guess ... Ontario is MUCH closer to Claremont/Redlands, but it doesn't have *too* many flights, so we might end up using LAX/Burbank as frequently). There's the Triangle of Convenience - grocery store, cobbler, dry cleaner - that none of the either two seem to have. Broadly speaking, Monrovia is advantageous ... except for the miserable commute and the distance from coworkers. But, you're right, given everything else, I might just need to suck that up ... how goes your housing sitch? Last we spoke, you were also pondering the joys of moving?

[cataptromancer.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe it's just my own relative distance from airports, but I'd say -- really don't underestimate the convenience of close airports.

Me, I'm living near my place of business, which is okay. It'll be convenient for this year when I'll be there at odd hours, and can also make myself known & seen. The area is pleasant enough, although ideally I think I might live a bit further south. E. g. would kind of like to hit a concert in the city on tuesday but I keep going back and forth about whether it's worth the hassle...

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Well, close and *close* ... right now, they're all sort of equidistant, but given my aversion to driving, it's a $50 supershuttle ride to any of the above (I justify this by saying that airport parking would cost as much, and cancel out my happy strategy of anesthetizing myself during flights w/Bloody Marys).

It sounds like you've hit your own triangle of convenience, more or less ... are you WALKING DISTANCE to work? Oh, the envy. The hassle of moving is one of my big factors right now, too, so I sympathize. Is there any kind of a tram or train to SF in the near vicinity that would make things easier for you? Or is that an expat. NY's pipe dream?

[cataptromancer.livejournal.com]

Yes, walking distance, which is nice. But many of the other fac commute from far away, so it's not like I'm in a social hotspot or anything (in fact, this summer has been an exercise in living in a ghost town).

As for shuttles and such, unfortunately not, not from this far up, at least. There are commuter buses which only run during commuter hours, etc. There's been talk of commuter rail, but that's the kind of thing that /might/ happen in /decades/.

Anyway, good to be where I am. The main problem consists in not knowing anybody, which would be the same pretty much wherever I lived, although being more southerly would make it easier to rectify.

[fireriven.livejournal.com]

I have no advice but huge sympathy for housing woes.

Also, your mention of Redlands made me perk up. Do you ever hang with anyone from the University of Redlands?

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Many thanks - the sympathy is hugely appreciated (and, quite reciprocal, if I haven't already said - any news on that front?). And, as such, no, though I know I've heard the name in relation to various dept. people ... anybody I should be trying to meet?

Also, completely OT, but I LOVE your new icon. Who drew that?

[talkstowolves.livejournal.com]

My mentor, Greg Salyer, is director of the Johnston Center for Integrative Studies at the University of Redlands this year. He is an awesome guy and a very unique and interesting person. If you're ever in a position to meet him, don't be shy!

No news on the living front, yet-- tomorrow is The Day Things Get Sorted (hopefully).

I love my icon as well! It's by Craig Elliott who did it for the 2006 Tori Amos/RAINN calendar.

...and I just realized that I've typed this reply up on my pro journal. Yet I'm too lazy to switch over-- but don't be confused, this is fireriven.

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Thanks for the tip. And good luck on the sorting ... fingers and toes crossed.

[moonlightalice.livejournal.com]

As a California native transplanted to NYC, I can say that an hour is not a big drive for a lot of people to go see you. I'd say 30-45 minutes is average, an hour isn't much more. Moreover, most of your coworkers are probably ALSO driving about as much to get to work, so being closer to work may not be the great social advantage you believe it is. And if you love your home and you own it and its yours, well, that counts for a lot.

I would say your best bet is just find ways to make the commute more bearable. Books on tape? Consider carpooling--then you have people to chat with and you're not making Al Gore cry with your carbon footprint. Any chance of a commuter rail?

[moonlightalice.livejournal.com]

Er, "it's yours." Obviously. It's 3am here. :)

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Heh - well, right now, the bank owns most of it (OH GOD I AM SUCH A CLICHE), but, point, indeed. I can't carpool directly just to make my commute easier, but I might be able to finagle a pain-in-the-ass-but-I'll-feel-like-a-better-person type commute where I park in Claremont and pick up coworkers (or, where I park in Claremont and shift from foot to foot in the hot CA sun until they pick me up). I don't think I have that kind of steely environmental determination, though: I think it's more like, move for convenience and carpool for pleasure, or commute alone and recycle like a guilty Tool of the Man.

Books on tape would drive me nuts - I started reading early specifically because being read to drove me batshit, but I have an iPod and I know how to use it (as of, well, a month ago, because before that, I thought the little panel that flipped out to reveal the lighter thingy was just, well, plastic). The bigger concern is that I tend to shake faintly afterwards because I remain convinced that I've just had a near-death experience. Which, all too often, is true.

I dunno if I'm just a huge wuss about this, or what ... I *know* that I need to get over it, but so far, the driving is the bane of my existence out here, just because everybody else on the road seems to, a) eschew turn signals, and, b) insist on driving 90+ mph, come rain, high winds, gremlins, whatever. I assume I'll acclimate eventually, but till then ... yeah. Fear. Fear, and verbosity.

[moonlightalice.livejournal.com]

Oh I wasn't trying to guilt you, I was just suggesting a carpool so you could have company and the ride wouldn't be so agonizing.

Yeah, driving sucks, but it'll get easier.

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

Heh, no worries - the guilt is aaaaaaaaall internalized, baby.

And, so I hope: I honestly find myself wondering if that's the reason why so many people out here drive monster SUV's. Maybe it's *not* overcompensation ....

[sadira42.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm totally there with you. Just moved to Miami and getting used to a commute. For me it's only about half an hour without traffic to go to school, but about an hour with, and a very frustrating hour it is. Plus, (I know everyone says this) I am convinced that people in Miami are all completely off their rockers, especially when in a car. But think of it this way - in New York, you would have likely had to commute about half an hour, 45 minutes to get to work, if you lived at one end of Manhattan and worked at another, or even longer if you lived in another boro. I know my commute to work was about that time. Of course we could read on the subway, but we also had to be in constant risk of getting groped, flashed and various other unpleasant things. But books on tape are good, and so are iPod-car radio plug in things. And I find that eventually, driving can become kind of nice, if no one is actively trying to kill me with their vehicle. And having a home that you love going back to is a very important thing. I should know, I live with my parents. :)

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

You know, I miss the subway? And I miss parts of it I never would have predicted missing. I miss the rats, the omnipresent smell of urine, the crazy singing people and their sixth sense about what will make your head pound most when you have a splitting headache, I miss the opportunity for harmless confrontation to blow off steam and the less-harmless confrontation that can help you define yourself as a person, I miss the people-watching and the story-telling that you do when you see someone wearing a deeply strange outfit ... I miss *everything.* The one plus to driving is that I can smoke while I drive ... but that way lies madness (and, possibly a hacking cough).