d_aulnoy: (Default)
[personal profile] d_aulnoy
Dear LJ:

I passed my driving test!  Ahahahahaha!  Weep for the poor suckers on the road beside me ... or, alternately, don't, as during today's test I saw three people leaving their blinkers on for blocks and blocks with no apparent intention of turning, one guy who swerved into my lane so suddenly that my driving instructor was moved to wonder if he, too, was taking the test (being alone in the car, he was not, apparently ... just a scary-bad driver), and, if not a partridge in a pear-tree, at least four insouciant peacocks wandering the streets of Arcadia, which has to be a much bigger distraction than one blonde from NY.

So what, you might ask, will [personal profile] d_aulnoy be driving?  Well.  It's a decade old red Ford Taurus that has been christened my Ashtray, as it's the one indoor place in this gods-benighted state where I get to smoke.  (The Gnu is pushing for Cardinal Richelieu due to the red, but, well, he's A) had ten years to name the damned thing, and B) is pushing for Kaiser Wilhelm for his new ride, so I figure he's overridden.  He might get the compromise choice of Cardinal Ashtray, but only if we name the new (German) vehicle either Jacob Grimm or Catherine the Great.)  And where, you might ask, will my Ashtray be housed?

Why, in the garage of our new home.  Funny story, that.  Remember how I was raving about the place with the loft?  We stumbled across that one in our hunt just a leetle too late ... it was already taken.  But the broker kept in touch while we were away, and found another one in the same building, almost identical ... just, not quite.  Whereas the other one had felt spacious and sophisticated, this one felt weirdly ... well, furtive.  How can an apartment be furtive?  Well, for one thing, instead of having a normal-against-the-wall-loft, this one had a strange catwalk stretching over the top of the kitchen/living-room which felt more like a treehouse than anything else (great place to put our eventual pool table, I suppose, but aside from that ... ?) as well as a thieve's den. 

Yes, you read that right.  A real, honest to god, hidden-room, thieve's den, carved out of the crawl-space by the loft.  It was the most tempting part of the place, truth be told.  Aside from that, the layout was just ... weird.  Especially given that it was a tad pricier than the one we'd originally fallen for ....

... but, in an effort to convince us that it was well worth it, the broker sent us a bunch of other listings for similar places in the same area, one of which caught the Gnu's eye as we were literally heading out the door for a second, make-or-break peek at Loft Deux, and, well.  Pool.  Patio.  Balcony.  Townhouse. 

Need I say more?

I am currently engaged in the process of painting everything indigo and crimson and gold (expect a long and outraged post about paint color names soon, because, honestly, if you've ever stared, aghast, at the nomenclature of nail-polish?  Oh, honey, you've barely touched on the thin edge of the wedge ....) and the Gnu is currently engaged in desperately trying to dissuade me from gilding either him, the cat, or my Ashtray. 

Hell, if you're going to pray for anyone, I suppose you might as well pray for him; after all, not only does he have to drive with me, he has to live with me.

Love,
A Long Absent Moi

Date: 2007-08-18 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
*whimper*

Also, even though the car's name is Cardinal Richelieu, there will be no gilding.

Date: 2007-08-18 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
Oh, come on. You know he'd approve of a gilded Ashtray ....

Date: 2007-08-18 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
possibly, but I don't think he'd approve of people either gilding him, gelding him or stubbing out their cigarettes in him.

Date: 2007-08-18 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
You know, I think Dumas might beg to differ ... but regardless, the Cardinal is the Cardinal, and the Car is the Ashtray.

Date: 2007-08-18 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] omnia-mutantur.livejournal.com
I have walls of Cherry Cobbler (red), Painted Turtle (dark green) Shy Violet (dusky purple) Spring Hill (a regrettable mint green), Popped Corn (white) and Swiss Coffee (also white). I had a veritable stockpile of swatches before I settled.

Date: 2007-08-18 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
Sounds like a very pretty set of combinations (well, possibly except for the regrettable mint green - where'd that go?). We're up to:

(and let's make this a game in the comments, possibly to be reposted in the next post)

A) An unused gallon of Wisteria which looked good on the chip, but not so good in the house,

B) A quart of Victorian Red,

C) A gallon of Calypso

D) A gallon of Summer Gold

And numerous cans of spray paint. Now, guess what colors any of these names actually designate?

Date: 2007-08-18 05:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
Very zen, but ultimately incorrect - One cardinal is dead, and the other is in our garage. I leave it to you to figure out which is which.

Date: 2007-08-18 05:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
Sadly, not Victorian Red - the color is called Drum Beat.

Date: 2007-08-18 05:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brisingamen.livejournal.com
Congratulations!

Date: 2007-08-18 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
Dude, don't tell me you flooded the damned engine ....

(Yes, curiously, I would rather have a dead 17th c. dignitary in the garage - I've gotten quite attached to my Ashtray.)

Date: 2007-08-18 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
Ahem, I'm not the one trying to kill poor old Cardinal Richelieu...

Date: 2007-08-18 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
Viva la revolucion, baby.

Date: 2007-08-18 12:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] omnia-mutantur.livejournal.com
The mint green ended up in the bathroom. It was supposed to be a little more subtle and a little less toothpaste. But, Light liked it, and I chalked it up to a learning experience. (All my paints where Behr, which brand did you use?)

A. a light blueish purple. Or just straight up lilac.
B. bright red. Probably more blue than orange.
C. Totally stumped. Either blue grey or wicked navy.
D. Orange-yellow.

On the one hand, I'm totally tempted to just use the colors I loved again in the next house, on the other hand, I'm lured in by the idea of playing with all those swatches again.

Date: 2007-08-18 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alice-ayers.livejournal.com
Wait, who said you weren't allowed to smoke in the home YOU OWN?

Date: 2007-08-18 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belecrivain.livejournal.com
Well, when you decide you want Ashtray II: The Designed-in-Japan, Made-in-Kentucky edition, I think [livejournal.com profile] cataptromancer will have some advice for you.

You sound very happy. It's good to hear.

Date: 2007-08-18 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
I believe that was 150 years later, babe.

Date: 2007-08-18 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
Welcome to California. All cigarettes will be confiscated by the customs officials.

Date: 2007-08-18 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
Heheh - I did, sorta, as it seems both silly and mean to the Gnu to smoke in the house when the patio and balcony are both so easily accessible. But, damnit, I miss smoking in restaurants (I blame this more on the visit to London than I do on NY, given Bloomberg. But, still.) Also, have been so frenzied with the test I haven't e-mailed back yet! Soon, soon, soon - maybe phone tonight?

Date: 2007-08-18 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
And, not true! I'm quite pleased to have a cadre of sympathizers in the dept. ....

Date: 2007-08-18 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
It. Is. A. State. Of. MIND.

Date: 2007-08-18 04:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
Or a state of civil upheaval. I know which one leads to beheadings...

Date: 2007-08-18 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alice-ayers.livejournal.com
No, for real. You own it, you can smoke there.

Date: 2007-08-18 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alice-ayers.livejournal.com
Am going out around 8pm EST but available before then....

Date: 2007-08-19 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellen-kushner.livejournal.com
Congratulations! Wonderful news all 'round - especially the paint.

Date: 2007-08-19 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schrodingersgnu.livejournal.com
hehe - that was actually the landing message from a JetBlue pilot once when I touched down in Burbank. :)

Date: 2007-08-19 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] handworn.livejournal.com
and the Gnu is currently engaged in desperately trying to dissuade me from gilding either him, the cat, or my Ashtray

Ah, go paddle your own Gnu.

Date: 2007-08-19 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merrymaia.livejournal.com
Congratulations!!!

Date: 2007-08-20 06:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
And, once again, I am a laggard ... will cross my fingers to catch you tomorrow.

(Apologetically, me)

Date: 2007-08-20 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
Heh - thank you! On both counts ....

Date: 2007-08-20 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
Indeed!

P.S. - You were right; it *is* like having a giant purse, and thus, utterly delightful.

Date: 2007-08-20 06:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
There's either a pun in here than I'm missing, or a convoluted sadomasochistic reference ....

Date: 2007-08-20 06:34 am (UTC)

Date: 2007-08-20 03:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] handworn.livejournal.com
A convoluted sadomasochistic pun, perhaps, but definitely a pun. "Go paddle your own canoe" used to be a common expression. I'm just being obscure; sorry.

Date: 2007-08-20 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com
Aha! Awesome, allows me to add to my store of weird linguistic trivia. No need for apologies - instead, thanks.

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