d_aulnoy | (no subject)

Last night I found a cowrie shell wedged tightly into a sidewalk crack, just before I had yet another fight about feminism with my best friend.

I used to post about feminism a lot on this journal. Over the course of the last couple of months I've stopped, though. Not because I've stopped thinking about feminism, mind you - but because I've spent so much time talking about it, and fighting about it, that writing my thoughts out has become peculiarly exhausting. It reminds me of how my writer friends say that they never discuss stories before they're finished; it sucks the spirit right out of them when the time comes to put pen to paper.

This last week, my life has been a) talking and fighting about feminism, and b) writing a paper about witches as inadvertant role models in their roles as testers.

Witches are, generally speaking, not positive figures in fairy tales. When they're positive figures, we call them fairy godmothers, or white enchantresses, or sorceresses. "Witch" means villain. "Witch" means, kind of selfish. "Witch" means, disrupting the social order.

But "witch" can also mean helper or tester.  "Witch" can also mean inadvertant role model.

The witch in a fairy tale has always been a fascinating figure to me when she's a recurring character, because, hey, picture being Baba Yaga. You're out there in your forest with this neverending stream of children and heroes coming to your door, asking for the foal of the Mare of the North Wind, or advice on how to get to the sea that houses the salmon who ate the rabbit who holds the heart of Koschei the Deathless between his teeth, or just for a way to relight the fire that a wicked stepmother put out. And, once in a while, you get a little frustrated and you bite someone's head off, and all of a sudden everybody's calling you wicked.

It feels a lot like being a feminist, frankly.

Because I get so damned tired of having to be the one to explain that, actually, women do not take being catcalled as a compliment, even if it would be a godsend for a guy. I get so damned tired of being called oversensitive or humorless because I don't just see the joke, but also the social context that allows for the joke, which, when you think about it, isn't all that funny. I get tired of being an apologist for my movement, because, hey, while I might not agree with every little tiny bit of feminist thought out there, I think that the basic cause is still worth identifying with, and fighting for.

I get so damned tired, and I've only been doing this for a little while, comparatively speaking.

But I'm writing a paper about witches, and I found a cowrie shell wedged into a crack on the sidewalk, and it is still worth it.

I've never set up a girlie filter before, because, well, I don't tend to have all that many barriers, but I think I'm going to set one up for feminism. You wanna visit me in my little hut in the forest to hear me rant about feminism, comment below.

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I'm in. I've been getting all offended about all the stupid gender roles lately. Have you seen the ad on television for some men's big and tall line (somethingsomethingXL), and it has scenes like a shorter guy approaching the table of a lovely woman in a coffee place, and getting intercepted by a tall guy, with the v/o "Which is the *obvious* choice?", and two tall guys in a business environment talking, with a short guy hopping around in the background, trying to be noticed, and the v/o along the lines of, "Who takes charge?" It is THE MOST PENIS-DRIVEN COMMERCIAL I have ever seen. It's really low-budget, too, which gives it an extra-weird feeling.

I like your feminist rants, though. I was on the feminist rage community over a year ago, and ended up ducking out after two particularly moronic fights (one in which I ended defending men as a race from the accusation of all being dirty public masturbators, the other in which tampon-users were accused of being bad feminists), and I know you've said it's cool now and god knows communities go through phases, but I always fear I'll peek back in right before a downswing. That has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with the intarweb, though, so I digress.

I get tired of being an apologist for my movement, because, hey, while I might not agree with every little tiny bit of feminist thought out there, I think that the basic cause is still worth identifying with, and fighting for.

that's a point so many people miss. There's room for some intellectual debate, of course, but when you fight about details, you want to grab some people and shake them and scream at them for rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. I know I run into the same thing as the virulent screaming pro-choice (negative population growth) activist I am. Details are a problem for so many left-ish movements in the US at this point - so much dawdling, and no clarity. Do you believe women should be treated as equals (not that they're the *same*, because that's a point of debate)? Bam, you're a feminist. Abortion on demand, even if only in the first trimester? Voila, you're pro-choice.

wow, I got sort of ranty on your page. it's been a rough day at work.

tampon-users were accused of being bad feminists

what
the
fuck

I love the rant-iness. :)

And f_r is ... interesting, these days. Because, on the one hand, it's a safe space, which is great, but on the other hand, I kind of find myself not wanting to post there, because I really don't need to get torn to shreds for wanting to reclaim "cunt". So instead I set up a filter on my own journal. This way, at least I know the opposing parties. :)

And, actually, I too am wondering about how the tampons=bad feminists thing. For ... being ecologically unsound? I'm totally in the dark on that one.

When "cunt" is reclaimed(and it will be, the way "faggot" or "queer" and "nigger" have been, once feminists as a group realise how empowering that word can potentially be), it will really be a very different world we're living in.

Hm, interesting. I'd argue that "nigger" is in a different category than the other two, though that might just be me ....

What do you see the distinction as being?

Well, this one is possibly purely personal - but I know that there's no way in hell I'd feel comfortable using "nigger" as anything but an example of a prejorative term. It's one of those words that I don't know can *ever* be reclaimed, partially because of history, partially because of ongoing racial issues. I'd probably argue, actually, that it goes for all racial epithets ... it's just that I haven't seen many efforts by the Jewish community to reclaim "kike". (Nor do I want to. :) )

I see your point, but most of those highly inflamatory words are still never meant to be used by anyone but the group that has reclaimed them when they are race- specific.

I think the goal in the reclamation of the word "cunt" wouldn't be to defuse the power of the word so much as make it something that women wouldn't feel as mortified by when they heard it from another woman.

Rather like how the word "bitch" has become.

Oh, now THAT I quite agree with - I had a long, long post about "cunt" about a year ago. Will post a link to it when I get a chance ....

On "nigger" and all it's variations ("nigga", etc.) ... I think that even within the black community it's still a serious point of contention, not least of all because it *can* still be used as an insult, which is what makes me leery of putting it in the fully reclaimed category. One woman calling another "bitch", or "faggot" between homosexuals is generally used pretty lightly (or acknowledging one's own "share" in the word, anyway, when it's used hurtfully), but "nigger" is still a deadly insult even within the community at large, and it's used to Other the recipient. I think that's what makes me classify it seperately, at least in my own head.

That's a fair point.

Being part of a group that really has no claims to reclamation, it's sometimes easy for me to lose the trees for the forest in these matters.

It's very easy to forget how certain words, while maintaining a certain degree of power in general usage, are devestating when directed towards members of a certain specific social group (rather like the effect of the words "Clown" or "Goof" on a male ex-convict - which is not unlike how the word "Cunt" goes by for most women in our society.. simply just isn't said unless the speaker is expecting a violent reaction).

Huh - you know, I never heard that before? Will keep it in mind if/when I make friends/acquaintances with anyone who's been in prison. What, pray tell, is the history/etymology there?

It's a "Face" thing. Life in prison is all about saving face and maintaining your role in the pecking order.

Even though I've never so much as been arrested, I've seen that word start fights that ended with people being hospitalised.

Note: it's especially potent coming from a woman when the con is out of prison.

I love the word "cunt." It has a hundred and one uses--well, a few, anyway, and it's got a nice gutteral anglo-saxon sound. Good word. And, obviously, add me to your filter.

Yeah, I know. They can pry my tampons out of my cold, dead...well, perhaps I won't go there.