d_aulnoy | (no subject)

(no subject)

Last night I found a cowrie shell wedged tightly into a sidewalk crack, just before I had yet another fight about feminism with my best friend.

I used to post about feminism a lot on this journal. Over the course of the last couple of months I've stopped, though. Not because I've stopped thinking about feminism, mind you - but because I've spent so much time talking about it, and fighting about it, that writing my thoughts out has become peculiarly exhausting. It reminds me of how my writer friends say that they never discuss stories before they're finished; it sucks the spirit right out of them when the time comes to put pen to paper.

This last week, my life has been a) talking and fighting about feminism, and b) writing a paper about witches as inadvertant role models in their roles as testers.

Witches are, generally speaking, not positive figures in fairy tales. When they're positive figures, we call them fairy godmothers, or white enchantresses, or sorceresses. "Witch" means villain. "Witch" means, kind of selfish. "Witch" means, disrupting the social order.

But "witch" can also mean helper or tester.  "Witch" can also mean inadvertant role model.

The witch in a fairy tale has always been a fascinating figure to me when she's a recurring character, because, hey, picture being Baba Yaga. You're out there in your forest with this neverending stream of children and heroes coming to your door, asking for the foal of the Mare of the North Wind, or advice on how to get to the sea that houses the salmon who ate the rabbit who holds the heart of Koschei the Deathless between his teeth, or just for a way to relight the fire that a wicked stepmother put out. And, once in a while, you get a little frustrated and you bite someone's head off, and all of a sudden everybody's calling you wicked.

It feels a lot like being a feminist, frankly.

Because I get so damned tired of having to be the one to explain that, actually, women do not take being catcalled as a compliment, even if it would be a godsend for a guy. I get so damned tired of being called oversensitive or humorless because I don't just see the joke, but also the social context that allows for the joke, which, when you think about it, isn't all that funny. I get tired of being an apologist for my movement, because, hey, while I might not agree with every little tiny bit of feminist thought out there, I think that the basic cause is still worth identifying with, and fighting for.

I get so damned tired, and I've only been doing this for a little while, comparatively speaking.

But I'm writing a paper about witches, and I found a cowrie shell wedged into a crack on the sidewalk, and it is still worth it.

I've never set up a girlie filter before, because, well, I don't tend to have all that many barriers, but I think I'm going to set one up for feminism. You wanna visit me in my little hut in the forest to hear me rant about feminism, comment below.

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Well said, dear. Of course I want to read.

Absolutely.

I totally want to visit you in the little hut to hear your rants about anything, but particularly feminism. Because yeah, I'm feeling kind of tired too, but not tired enough to stop talking.

On the 'humour': One of the repeated conversations I have with people (friends, father, students) has to do with humour as a form of power. Someone says something offensive, I take offense, said someone tells me to 'get a sense of humour. Jeez, it's only a joke.' And that comment, right there, is an attempt to make me feel in the wrong, to silence me; no one wants to be seen as humourless, after all.

On feminist exhaustion: I work hard to make my classes inclusive, to examine constructions of masculinity, to approach texts from many different points of view. But I do occasionally discuss my interest in the female hero, and I don't let students get away with sexist language (like the default to the masculine pronoun). If someone asks, I happily admit to being a feminist, and I don't make the usual 'not really a feminist, but' excuses. And apparently that is more than enough for my evaluations to consistently read 'a radical feminist' who 'can't stop talking about feminism' in class. For some people (guys and gals) talking about it at all is overdoing it.

And I noticed the title of your paper when I was cruising the WisCon program (one of these years I won't have to teach in Spring term and will be able to go myself) and thought it sounded fascinating. I'd love to read a copy, if you feel comfortable with that.

Count me in. I get labelled a "far-left-wing eco-feminist nut" on my student evaluations (well, only a few, but that's more than enough).

And a copy of your paper would be really nice. See you at Wiscon, I am sure.

Oh yeah, I'm in. I may not comment often, but it's a relief and a vindication to hear someone articulate some of the important points--in your inimitable style--and it's always food for thought.

WisCon. Maybe we could make a little time for a little whisky and some chat, if ya wanna. (I'll be easy to find, I'm running the Green Room, but feel free to phone if you'd rather.)

I'd like in the hut.

And, I understand the tired. But what choice do we have? There is none, really.

Please to put me on the Baba Yaga filter. :)

I've only recently begun to think about feminism myself and already there are fights with friends about misunderstandings and do all feminists hate men and all sorts of crap. It's fascinating, but I'm sure will also get tiring.

I'm in. I've been getting all offended about all the stupid gender roles lately. Have you seen the ad on television for some men's big and tall line (somethingsomethingXL), and it has scenes like a shorter guy approaching the table of a lovely woman in a coffee place, and getting intercepted by a tall guy, with the v/o "Which is the *obvious* choice?", and two tall guys in a business environment talking, with a short guy hopping around in the background, trying to be noticed, and the v/o along the lines of, "Who takes charge?" It is THE MOST PENIS-DRIVEN COMMERCIAL I have ever seen. It's really low-budget, too, which gives it an extra-weird feeling.

I like your feminist rants, though. I was on the feminist rage community over a year ago, and ended up ducking out after two particularly moronic fights (one in which I ended defending men as a race from the accusation of all being dirty public masturbators, the other in which tampon-users were accused of being bad feminists), and I know you've said it's cool now and god knows communities go through phases, but I always fear I'll peek back in right before a downswing. That has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with the intarweb, though, so I digress.

I get tired of being an apologist for my movement, because, hey, while I might not agree with every little tiny bit of feminist thought out there, I think that the basic cause is still worth identifying with, and fighting for.

that's a point so many people miss. There's room for some intellectual debate, of course, but when you fight about details, you want to grab some people and shake them and scream at them for rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. I know I run into the same thing as the virulent screaming pro-choice (negative population growth) activist I am. Details are a problem for so many left-ish movements in the US at this point - so much dawdling, and no clarity. Do you believe women should be treated as equals (not that they're the *same*, because that's a point of debate)? Bam, you're a feminist. Abortion on demand, even if only in the first trimester? Voila, you're pro-choice.

wow, I got sort of ranty on your page. it's been a rough day at work.

Loved the Baba Yaga story.

Me for the Baba Yaga filter please.

dear baba yaga:

i'm a feminist. i don't argue about it with people, though; maybe because i don't like to argue, or maybe because it never comes up.

sdn

tampon-users were accused of being bad feminists

what
the
fuck

Thankee!

That's exactly why the humorless thing bothers me, too. I also tend to get called censorious, which ... kind of seems to circle back to the same thing. I'm not necessarily trying to shut anyone up, I'm just generally trying to explain why something bothers me; if the default setting is that I have to shut up and take it, that's *not* censorious? Argh.

And, of course you're welcome to a copy of the paper! Now all I have to do is finish the bloody thing .... :)

Ah, evals, the light of a teacher's existence. I mean, it's good to know when I'm crossing the line from "teaching the material" to "shoving my ideological position down my classes collective throat", but it can be (as Chrissie points out above) so damned subjective ... sigh.

And, will look forward to it - p.s., have we met in RL? If not, I'll look forward to it this year!

Many thanks! Also, whiskey and WisCon? Love the alliteration, love the idea, and love, love, love the fact that it's only two days away. See you in 48 hours ....

Exactly. :)

I've been reading your posts, and enjoying them quite a lot - hope it doesn't get too tiring too soon!

"You can dump millstones on my head and drown me in the river, but you can't get me out of the story."

i'd love to be on your filter.

I love the rant-iness. :)

And f_r is ... interesting, these days. Because, on the one hand, it's a safe space, which is great, but on the other hand, I kind of find myself not wanting to post there, because I really don't need to get torn to shreds for wanting to reclaim "cunt". So instead I set up a filter on my own journal. This way, at least I know the opposing parties. :)

And, actually, I too am wondering about how the tampons=bad feminists thing. For ... being ecologically unsound? I'm totally in the dark on that one.

Am flattered by the repost!

Heh. I actually love arguing, so that part doesn't irk me ... it's having the same arguement *over* and *over* and *over* again that makes me tired.

Maybe I need to start keeping a definitive scorecard ....

Excellent!

P.S. - I owe you an e-mail, post-WisCon. :)

Yeah and I also find that the joke thing is kind of a cover for one's real feelings. I often think that jokes are at least 50% true - so when someone says something offensive, they probably believe it at least on some level. But then you can just say "oh, I was joking" and no one is allowed to take offense to that.

Then there is the other side where maybe the person didn't mean to offend at all, but came off sounding like an asshole, but if it's pointed out to them, the defensiveness begins. Why is it so hard for people to just say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," instead of saying "you just don't get it, I was only joking." Bah. People.

i hate arguing. i don't like yelling. i am a feminist, and if someone else isn't, i just kill them.

I actually work pretty hard at presenting enough sides to an issue, hopefully my students don't feel like I'm just presenting my own random thoughts.

And yes - we've met before. I've been one of those people helping run WisCon over these past few years. I'm stepping away from that so I can dissertate and hopefully find a tenure track position terrorizing undergraduates at some august institution somewhere nice.

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