d_aulnoy: (Default)
d_aulnoy ([personal profile] d_aulnoy) wrote2006-05-23 12:46 pm

(no subject)

Last night I found a cowrie shell wedged tightly into a sidewalk crack, just before I had yet another fight about feminism with my best friend.

I used to post about feminism a lot on this journal.  Over the course of the last couple of months I've stopped, though.  Not because I've stopped thinking about feminism, mind you - but because I've spent so much time talking about it, and fighting about it, that writing my thoughts out has become peculiarly exhausting.  It reminds me of how my writer friends say that they never discuss stories before they're finished; it sucks the spirit right out of them when the time comes to put pen to paper.  

This last week, my life has been a) talking and fighting about feminism, and b) writing a paper about witches as inadvertant role models in their roles as testers.

Witches are, generally speaking, not positive figures in fairy tales.  When they're positive figures, we call them fairy godmothers, or white enchantresses, or sorceresses.  "Witch" means villain.  "Witch" means,  kind of selfish.  "Witch" means, disrupting the social order.

But "witch" can also mean helper or tester.  "Witch" can also mean inadvertant role model.

The witch in a fairy tale has always been a fascinating figure to me when she's a recurring character, because, hey, picture being Baba Yaga.  You're out there in your forest with this neverending stream of children and heroes coming to your door, asking for the foal of the Mare of the North Wind, or advice on how to get to the sea that houses the salmon who ate the rabbit who holds the heart of Koschei the Deathless between his teeth, or just for a way to relight the fire that a wicked stepmother put out.  And, once in a while, you get a little frustrated and you bite someone's head off, and all of a sudden everybody's calling you wicked.

It feels a lot like being a feminist, frankly.

Because I get so damned tired of having to be the one to explain that, actually, women do not take being catcalled as a compliment, even if it would be a godsend for a guy.  I get so damned tired of being called oversensitive or humorless because I don't just see the joke, but also the social context that allows for the joke, which, when you think about it, isn't all that funny.  I get tired of being an apologist for my movement, because, hey, while I might not agree with every little tiny bit of feminist thought out there, I think that the basic cause is still worth identifying with, and fighting for.

I get so damned tired, and I've only been doing this for a little while, comparatively speaking. 

But I'm writing a paper about witches, and I found a cowrie shell wedged into a crack on the sidewalk, and it is still worth it.  

I've never set up a girlie filter before, because, well, I don't tend to have all that many barriers, but I think I'm going to set one up for feminism.  You wanna visit me in my little hut in the forest to hear me rant about feminism, comment below.

[identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, with the different icon (and the identifying characteristic of "organizer"), *now* I recognize you! Yes, definitely looking forward to seeing you. :)

[identity profile] badger2305.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Precisely.

count me in

[identity profile] msmsgirl.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
It would be awesome to read your Baba Yaga posts. I wonder how much to rant about feminism in my lj, too -- and am looking forward to doing so more. (I'm 2nd/3rd yr early modernist C. from the department, by the way!) Can't wait.

[identity profile] chrissie-m.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I also tend to get called censorious, which ... kind of seems to circle back to the same thing.

Hmm. In some settings, I think that I am being censorious when I say 'that's not at all funny.' I mean, if the problem comes up in a classroom, then to me, it's a teaching opportunity; I don't want to shut down the student telling the joke (usually his classmates will handle that for me) but I do want to make him (and the rest of the class) stop and think a little more deeply about the social context of the 'joke' and the power dynamics at play.

But when it's my father or, in the past, male co-workers (office and retail environments) I don't think like a teacher. In those cases, I am the butt of the joke, either personally or as a representative of the gender being made fun of, and I don't care whether the joke-teller learns something about the world; I just want him to shut the hell up.

And, of course you're welcome to a copy of the paper! Now all I have to do is finish the bloody thing .... :)

Oh, I know that feeling. I'm trying to get enough energy to make up a to-do list of writing projects for this summer, but the dissertation looms over everything. I really want someone to invent a neural plug-in, something that plugs into my brain and into the USB port of my computer, so that my brain can get the darned thing written without it needing to be filtered through my conscious thoughts and fingers on the keyboard.

[identity profile] erzebet.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm in the hut!

[identity profile] 1crowdedhour.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Please add me to the hut filter. Thanks.

[identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Now, THAT is the kind of a policy that I could get behind ....

[identity profile] papajoemambo.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 10:30 pm (UTC)(link)

There are two things that came immediately to mind when I got about two paragraphs into what you wrote.

The first was "I hope she keeps me in the Femminst Thought Filter, cuz I really respect Helen's POV about stuff"

The second was the line from Sondheim's Into The Woods that goes "Witches can be right, Giants can be good - You decide what's right, You decide what's good..."

No need for apologies, I want to read it all, Helen.

[identity profile] papajoemambo.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)

That being said, I think a lot of people forget that Witch is also Crone - and just because she isn't pretty and isn't nurturing doesn't mean she has no idea of what's going on. In fact, its because she's not pretty / fertile and not Motherly/nurturing that she DOES know EVERYTHING that's going on.

I'll be your token guy in the hut, if you'll have me.

[identity profile] papajoemambo.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)

When "cunt" is reclaimed(and it will be, the way "faggot" or "queer" and "nigger" have been, once feminists as a group realise how empowering that word can potentially be), it will really be a very different world we're living in.

[identity profile] madamjolie.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
murr

[identity profile] circe-pleading.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
please do add me, i just stumbled into you through ninjaturbo.

your take on feminism sounds much like mine -- i'm always having to explain that i'm a feminist, but... and I am so tired of that.

good luck with your arguments, and the paper -- it's been my favorite acadamia field (but as a recent grad in polsci and french i could never really explore it thoroughly...)

[identity profile] circe-pleading.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
my ex-room mate did that all the time. "i didn't *mean* to hurt your feelings" and that makes it all ok... the intention...

this is the guy who told me to consider being a trophy wife as an occupation though.

(Anonymous) 2006-05-23 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
While I could be pissed about that post making me look like a giant asshole, I guess it's fair, today of all days.

[identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Hm, interesting. I'd argue that "nigger" is in a different category than the other two, though that might just be me ....

[identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
How can I say this?

Not. About. You.

Not about any one person. (As the anonymous post could come from any number of people.)

GAH.

[identity profile] vschanoes.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I love the word "cunt." It has a hundred and one uses--well, a few, anyway, and it's got a nice gutteral anglo-saxon sound. Good word. And, obviously, add me to your filter.

[identity profile] papajoemambo.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)

What do you see the distinction as being?

[identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, this one is possibly purely personal - but I know that there's no way in hell I'd feel comfortable using "nigger" as anything but an example of a prejorative term. It's one of those words that I don't know can *ever* be reclaimed, partially because of history, partially because of ongoing racial issues. I'd probably argue, actually, that it goes for all racial epithets ... it's just that I haven't seen many efforts by the Jewish community to reclaim "kike". (Nor do I want to. :) )

[identity profile] papajoemambo.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)

I see your point, but most of those highly inflamatory words are still never meant to be used by anyone but the group that has reclaimed them when they are race- specific.

I think the goal in the reclamation of the word "cunt" wouldn't be to defuse the power of the word so much as make it something that women wouldn't feel as mortified by when they heard it from another woman.

Rather like how the word "bitch" has become.

[identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, now THAT I quite agree with - I had a long, long post about "cunt" about a year ago. Will post a link to it when I get a chance ....

On "nigger" and all it's variations ("nigga", etc.) ... I think that even within the black community it's still a serious point of contention, not least of all because it *can* still be used as an insult, which is what makes me leery of putting it in the fully reclaimed category. One woman calling another "bitch", or "faggot" between homosexuals is generally used pretty lightly (or acknowledging one's own "share" in the word, anyway, when it's used hurtfully), but "nigger" is still a deadly insult even within the community at large, and it's used to Other the recipient. I think that's what makes me classify it seperately, at least in my own head.

[identity profile] papajoemambo.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)


That's a fair point.

Being part of a group that really has no claims to reclamation, it's sometimes easy for me to lose the trees for the forest in these matters.

It's very easy to forget how certain words, while maintaining a certain degree of power in general usage, are devestating when directed towards members of a certain specific social group (rather like the effect of the words "Clown" or "Goof" on a male ex-convict - which is not unlike how the word "Cunt" goes by for most women in our society.. simply just isn't said unless the speaker is expecting a violent reaction).


[identity profile] savageseraph.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Sign me up for the filter. Please.

[identity profile] d-aulnoy.livejournal.com 2006-05-23 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Huh - you know, I never heard that before? Will keep it in mind if/when I make friends/acquaintances with anyone who's been in prison. What, pray tell, is the history/etymology there?

[identity profile] papajoemambo.livejournal.com 2006-05-24 12:06 am (UTC)(link)

It's a "Face" thing. Life in prison is all about saving face and maintaining your role in the pecking order.

Even though I've never so much as been arrested, I've seen that word start fights that ended with people being hospitalised.

Note: it's especially potent coming from a woman when the con is out of prison.


Page 2 of 4